The Office Jester: Office Routine

The Office Jester… every office needs one to make fun of the office routine

Have you switched jobs often? If you have changed jobs enough number of times, then you’ll be well aware of how all offices end up feeling the same way after you’ve worked there for some time. You get similar feelings in all offices because all of them are alike, more or less. This is why you end up creating the same office routine too.

Initially, when you join a new office, everything seems fresh and vibrant but after a few days, things fall into a pattern that is, admit it, not all that different from your previous office. You hate waking up in the morning to go to work. Once you reach, you do the usual greetings with colleagues. You grab your first coffee. Do some work only to make mistakes and get roasted by your boss before you trudge back home at the end of the day.

That’s your daily office routine. Most offices even have long term office routines but you just don’t realise them because they’re spread across such large time spans. Just to wake you up, though, and maybe laugh at your misery only to realise that we’re laughing at our own misery, we have a video that lists all the things that you should expect to be a part of your long-term office routine.

Long Term Office Routine

First off, let us just admit that we love the narrator’s voice. We love its deadpan and humourless nature. We also like the fact that it is reminiscent of Morgan Freeman and who doesn’t like Morgan Freeman (with the exception of Morgan Freeman in Wanted)?

The video says it lists 15 things that will happen to you if you work in an office. Some of them are combined or blended so we’ve only managed to thrash out 14. Here they are.

1. Dress sense: Everyone starts their new job in their best attire but sooner or later, that attire goes on a downward spiral and becomes incredibly informal and comfortable. We kid you not. In our career, we have seen people come in to work in shorts and a baseball cap!
2. Addiction to caffeine: Working at an office will absolutely push you to caffeine whether it is in the form of tea, coffee, or soda. You cannot and we repeat, you absolutely cannot work in the modern office without caffeine coursing through your system and reducing your lifespan every minute. But then again, it also allows you to party after work, so it can’t be all that bad.
3. Crush on a colleague: We don’t understand why this happens. We don’t entirely agree with this one either. It’s probably close proximity that pushes people at work to have a crush on their colleagues. Or, could it be their sad lives?
4. Too cold or too hot: AC wars! Every office has colleagues fighting over AC controls. It is so common and so aggressive that it reminds us of all our sibling battles.
5. Stuffed drawers: Have you ever wondered how a new recruit always comes to work empty handed but a quitting experienced employee always leaves with a box of stuff? Well, that happens because of this phenomenon where your drawer will start empty but you gradually end up stuffing your life in it.
6. Creepy colleague: Creepy colleagues are a fixture of offices, regardless of which industry, sector, country, or continent you look at. They’ll be everywhere and they’ve been everywhere. They’re the Illumipotty!
7. Hiding windows: Alt + Tab. The ultimate secret weapon of employees everywhere. Office games are a part of office routine so many people that developers have created easily camouflaged games for these grunts. At the very least, a part of your office routine will be hiding browsers, eBooks, and even videos and comics.
8. Colleague pooping: Whatever you do, don’t be the guy who is pooping. Even if you hear a colleague pooping you can walk away with it or make fun of it. Both ways, you’re okay but if you are the guy pooping then the power is out of your hands, buddy!
9. Colleague not washing hands: This one is the same as the previous one. You pee in the office bathroom, you better wash your hands. It won’t just save you from a lot of ridicule but also keep you healthy. Preacher Alert!
10. Get fat: Sit all day on your bum with the only break in your office routine being a birthday or anniversary party and how can you not gain weight at work. Offices make people fat. Fact!
11. Fantasies about strange things: This one was a strange one. Have you ever had fantasies of doing strange and unspeakable things to your colleagues? We haven’t. Care to share?
12. Personal friend visit: We don’t know why this is so awkward but it just is. If you’re smart, you’ll keep your friends away from colleagues and colleagues away from friends.
13. Small task expertise: That sense of achievement when you do something better than everyone else is rare but when it comes, it is great. Only, it gets ruined when you find everyone exploiting your skillset.
14. Group of friends: The ending to this video on things to expect in your office routine was sweet. It is probably the only video with a sweet ending that we’ve highlighted here. We just felt that we should leave you with some gush and mush as opposed to some slush without some flush.