The Office Jester… every office needs one to balance annoying colleagues
Moby clearly never worked in an office in his life if he thinks that we’re all made of stars. Alright, we stretched that one a little beyond the realms of reality because the song means something else entirely. However, the point remains. If you’ve worked in an office with colleagues then you know that there’s no individual who hasn’t experienced the pain that annoying colleagues can cause.
You know, we all take annoying colleagues lightly even though we have to spend a third of our lives with them. We do work eight hours a day for the vast majority of our lives. Since you’re spending such a large chunk of your lives with annoying colleagues, you have two options. You can either become as annoying as all your annoying colleagues or you can learn to laugh about it.
Whichever path you choose in life, today’s Office Jester video will help you achieve it. If you can’t beat them (quite literally), perhaps, you’ll want to laugh at them. On the other hand, if you can’t beat them and want to join their evil cult, treat this video as the start-up kit.
What Are The Most Common Annoying Colleagues?
There are five different types of annoying colleagues in this one. Yes, we know that there are more but let’s not dwell on the bad parts of life too much, shall we? We’ll just quickly focus on each of these types one by one.
The Earpiece Warrior:
This guy uses his earpiece as a shield. He’ll use it to make you look dumb and slow not only to yourself but also the guy on the phone. Then, he’ll use it to bail out on situations. He’ll say stuff that he shouldn’t be saying and then claim that he wasn’t saying them to you. The earpiece is like a free and perpetual get-out-of-jail card. Wait a minute… This post will be delayed on account of the writer going out to get an earpiece.
The One Upper Faker:
Right then. Now, that I can call people whatever I want and not face the music (my first target will be my competitors – others who use the earpiece in this way muahahahahaha!!!), let’s get to the one upper faker. The one upper faker will get you to say something and then say that he has something better. You know he’s lying but he thinks you don’t know. So, what do we do about this guy? Two options. You can either play the one upper game with him by going really obnoxious at him or you can call out his false claim. Imagine this.
One Upper Faker: How are you?
Me: Dude, there’s no one better than me right now.
OUF: Errr, uhm, I’m super excellent and great you know.
Me: Yeah? I met Scarlett Johansson yesterday and she showed me all her moves while Emilia Clarke was watching….if you know what I mean (wiggling eyebrows)
OUF: Erm… good to know. I think I need to go into the bathroom stall and cry me a river.
The Space Invader:
This type of annoying colleagues isn’t easy to take on because the reason they end up in your workspace is because theirs isn’t worth a dump. So, you can’t exactly pull a tit for tat on them. What you can do is something else entirely. Set up some pranks in your office and let them fall into the trap. Record their humiliation, share on YouTube and voila! You’ve taken out the Space Invader from your space.
The Prying Crowbar:
Crowbars are slightly bent and so are these types of annoying colleagues. The harmless ones just want gossip about you. The dangerous ones gather information to use to their advantage and against your interests. There’s no real way to deal with these pesky and annoying colleagues. All you can do is yell “don’t touch my stuff!” Maybe that will shock them into backing off. Or, you can do what they do in the movies – use the snitch by releasing false information to them.
The Complaint Queen:
Now, these types of annoying colleagues exist in virtually every single office. It doesn’t matter what industry you’re in, how high up you’re on the professional ladder, or who you deal with, You. Just. Can’t. Be. Free. Of them.
They crib, whine, and complain nonstop. They crib, whine, and complain about everything under the sun. This includes their work, their personal life, their wife, their kids, their health, and even their neighbour’s pooping habits. It’s almost as if they see you as their Aunty Agony.
Maybe if you laugh at their face, they’ll stop treating you as their psychology/sound board. It takes massive balls and a solid emotional centre to do that though. Are you up to it?
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