The Office Jester… every office needs one to beat office slackers into professionalism
I know what you all are thinking. This subject is a treasure trove of jokes, insults, puns, implications, similes, and metaphors. Whatever you want, this subject can deliver. Because of that, you lot probably think that I’m going to go on and on and on in this post. However, fear not, brave reader. I have considered your concerns and decided to not ramble, rant, rave, jabber, and spout. The subject, of course, is office slackers and my desire to ramble is, of course, unbearable.
No office is complete without one or more office slackers. They’re crucial to official ecosystems and play a key role from many perspectives. For example, they perform the role of making other employees think that they’re the best thing to happen to their respective companies since their respective bosses’ mistress.
Office slackers also give hope to the millennials who’ve joined the business as interns. They subtly encourage them to think that they can also grow in the company to have laid back lifestyles while pulling a paycheque. Needless to say, no type of slacker is better than the millennials. After all, this is the generation that documents itself so much doing so little – ever heard of selfies?
Office slackers play an important role for the bosses too. They give them a solid and justifiable reason to complain about their companies not performing. Essentially, anything that is not working in the business can be attributed on the office slackers by the boss even if the reason is that the boss’s secret identity is “Office Slacker”.
Office slackers end up entertaining their fellow workers too, especially if they’re creative about their slacking. Do you know that there are actually games designed to help you slack off at work? Not just a few either; six of them!
I am not a game developer so there’s no disclaimer to be given there. The reason why Office Slackers are the theme of this post is the following video. We all wish that our bosses were like this, no?
Boss Supporting Office Slackers’ Slacking Habits
This video is actually an example of how all commercials should be made i.e. short, to the point, and snappy. As is obvious, it’s a short commercial but that doesn’t mean that the content is dry. Instead, it is loaded. Every sentence of the boss is direct. His first statement is to inform his team of their “usual responsibilities” and us of the fact that they’re repeat office slackers. Here’s what his team’s usual responsibilities are:
- Jeff keeps feeding him old information.
- Dean doesn’t live up to his resume.
- Sue is in charge of waffling.
- Jerome talks a big game and then does nothing.
- Rick folds under pressure.
- Ted keeps thinking everyone’s out to get him.
Jeff is like the majority of blogs you read these days. The information being provided is regurgitated. Dean is actually like HP Inc.’s new printers with hidden firmware updates. Sue is essentially a sixteen year old nerd who doesn’t know his place in the big scheme of things. Jerome is your usual jock who is actually in the wrong profession. He should’ve been a radio or video jockey. Rick is one of those fellows who constantly make you think that the world is unfair because they’re in the same place in life as you, despite having a two digit IQ. And Ted is your usual office slacker who uses garden variety victim syndrome to get out of doing things.
No, I’m not going to give advice on how to deal with them. Yes, I’m not giving said advice because I’ve already rambled quite a bit.
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