The Office Jester… Every Office Needs One to Decipher the Office Jargon
jargon1 (ˈdʒɑːɡ(ə)n/) stands for special words or expressions used by a profession or group that are difficult for others to understand.
This may be the technical definition of this word but the colloquial definition of office jargon is simply anything that has been overly complicated to the point where it is hard to understand.
In fact, the situation is such that people think they need to use office jargon to seem important to others. This is especially common in the administration, management, and marketing fields.
Haven’t you ever met someone who claims to be speaking about your company’s financial results but instead sounds like a movie director because he keeps using office jargon including terms like Action, Action Item, or even Actionable?
Struggle as you might my dear, dear friend such is the life of a rising star in a corporatized organisation these days. Here’s a video showing how far career management professionals can really take this.
Run! Run! It’s The Office Jargon Monster!
There are so many puns and metaphors in the office jargon used in this video that it makes our head spin. If it doesn’t do the same for you, then you must be a career manager or a particularly gifted pun doctor.
Stan’s the real superstar in this video though. He flew through the storm without batting an eyelid or missing a feather. I wonder how he managed to shred that pasta and put his family jewels in the locker all safe and insured especially since he was facing down the barrel of the gun right there. ::cough::cough::
We got carried away (ahem…) there a little. We’ll fly straight and true now. (fudge!!)
The only thing this video is missing is someone asking for minutes to be prepared and sent by ‘EOD tomorrow’. Can you imagine what that same conversation will be like if placed in your normal life? Here’s a conversation:
Teacher: Aaron, where is that assignment I asked you to do?
Student: Sorry, my dog ate it.
Teacher: Fine. I want a full report containing how the assignment was consumed and the subsequent poop flow projections along with actionable items on how to rectify this downward trend. Also, please forward me the minutes for this meeting by EOD tomorrow!
A question for you though: how often are you Stan? Don’t worry you can answer us anonymously in the comments section too. Besides, if you use the office jargon, it’s highly likely no one will ever remember your name.
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